


b my bad boi

by yatti



Category: Neon Genesis Evangelion
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-21
Updated: 2015-03-21
Packaged: 2018-03-18 20:44:15
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,093
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3583380
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yatti/pseuds/yatti
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>be my bad boy kaowru</p>
            </blockquote>





	b my bad boi

**Author's Note:**

> i wrote this with a nosebleed  
> tip: copy and paste this into google translate (or any text to speach) and listen

Once upon a time, a boy named Shinji was walking to school. He was listening to some sik ass beats on his fukin mp3 player shitty ass thing. He was dredding going to school. He hates everyone. 

After about twenty minutes of slouching through the streets he finally reached his school. His real bad boy friend Toji was there to greet him. “hey Shinji! Its time for class” he said waving his anime bad boy hand.

Shinji looked Toji bad boy dead in the eye and said “how bad me be” and left to class. Shinji got to class with about a minute to spare. He walked to his seat and plopped down into the wooden ass school chair sluts.

Shinji took out his cute little buttery head phones and listened to the old hag that was teaching him and his class mate.

“now listen here u lil shitty bratz dolls, we are getting a new transfer student today, he comes all the way from-“ the teacher looked down at his hand and cleared his throat “-heaven?” just then the ceiling started violently vibrating and then there it was. 

An unknown object or being fucking smashed through the ceiling and plastered itself at the front of the class. As the flames and smake cleared, Shinji and the others saw what caused the fuckin boss ass swag explosion on the ceiling. It appeared to be a young man, about the age of fourteen?? Fifteen??? Twenty-seven?? We just do not know. 

The boy had spikey silver hair, and eyes red like satans prostate. He stood there, in the front of the class, smiling like a fuckin smug ass pro. He then began to hum. He hummed the Canadian national anthem for twenty two minutes. 

“Singing is great. Singing enriches the soul. It's the crowning achievement of the civilization that the Lilim created. Don't you feel the same?” the silver boy said as he locked eyes with Shinji. “Please, call me Kaworu” 

He sat his ass down exTREAMLY close to Shinji, which made Shinji mildly uncomfortable. 

After the school day was over, Kaworu followed Shinji home cus hes weird. When they got back to Shinji’s home, Kaji was there dressing up his water melons and totally ignoring Misato. Pen Pen was jacking off in his penguin hut. 

“I am fucking here peasants, this is my friend Kaworu, hes staying with us for a while until he can go fly back to god land with rei.” Kaji looked at Shinji, then Kaworu, then Shinji, then back to Kaworu and squinted his melon living eye tiddies. 

“ok sounds cool, but we are going to a melon convention and wont be home till tomorrow so youre on your own for food ya bastards.” Kaji said as he and misato left. Shinji was relieved that he didn’t have to eat melon for the fourth night in a row.

“so what do you want to do Kaworu??? I don’t know what we will eat but that’s ok” Shinji said kinda gayly to kaworu. 

“why cant we call your dad for food hes your daddy hes your pockets” kaworu said.

“my dad can fuck himself” Shinji said. Shinji then looked into kaworus satan prostate eyes and realized that they were beautiful. Shinji began being aware that he was blushing.

“Shinji, are you blushing??” kaw said. Shinji let out an air horn noise. “Shinji, you are very afraid of any initial contact, physical or mentally, you are like glass, especially your heart.”

“wtf the fuck. What are you saying kaworu?” Shinji said while peeing himself a little. 

“im saying I love you” there was a long pause. Shinji felt it, he was feeling it like really feeling it like wowo mr krabs.

“I’m really feeling it!” Shinji yelled as he punched kaworu in the gut out of happiness. Kaworu threw up and then turned around kissing Shinji hard on the mouth. He kissed his necky neck.

“doesn’t this feel nice Shinji kun? Doesn’t it feel nice to love and be loved, to be wanted” kaworu said softy. HSinji couldn’t respond due to the amount of pleasure he was getting from kaworu. 

Kaworu then scooped up Shinji with his super strength and walked to shinjis room and laid him down. Dady.  
“kaworu, no” Shinji said suffering a bit

“kaworu yes” kaworu retorted, he knew Shinji wanted it. And he was right. Shinjis arms wrapped over kaworus long ass tube of a neck as kaworu smooched him. Kaworu slowly unbuttoned his school uniform shirt, and doing the same to himself. This did basically nothing since they both had plain t shirts on under their uniforms.

Kaworu began to touch shinjis hips and Shinji made branch cracking noises. 

“Kaworu, I can’t take it anymore. Purify me.” Shinji moaned softly into silver homos ear. This was kaworus chance. He undid his own, and shinjis church pants. Shinji sat up, beign prepared for what was about to unfold and looked into kaworus naked pelvis.

“it has a halo.” He said uncomfortably. Kaworu realized that Shinji was feeling weirded out by his holy cock. So he pushed him down back onto the bed. Kaworu decided that Shinji was a good person, and deserved at least a little pleasure in life. So he started to jack him the fuck off. 

Shinji gasped when kaworu touched his GENITALS. “swag” kaworu said as he pleasured the beautiful boy. Shinji was about to loose himself. He has never felt this much pleasure in his entire sad little life. “god im gay” he thought. 

Kaworu was working his angel powers when Shinji was about to release his love juice. “k-k-k-k-k-k-k—k-k-k-k-k-k-k-aworu kun” he stuttered. Kaworu then cleared his throat and laid down the sickest beat boxing the world has ever heard. It was so hot that after about three minutes Shinji blew. “be my bad boy kaworu” Shinji said and kaworu threw his hands into the air because he is a true playa.

“swag” kaworu said as he booped shinjis nipples. Just then they heard something approaching the window, but they had no fuckin time to see what it was because it crashed through the window and geometrically screamed. It was the angel ramiel. It got in their face and screamed geometrically, it was so loup kawuro looked at Shinji, and started singing.

“I said I wasn’t gonna loose my head, but then pop!-“ just then kaworus head fucking POPPED OFF HIS NECK AND SHINJI SANG “goes my heart” THEN RAMIEL YELLED GEOMETRICALLY FOR DADDY AND SHINJI SCREAMED FOR FORTY FIVE YEARS

the end

**Author's Note:**

> dank dank dank


End file.
